...And then...WHOOSH, I heard the toilet flush...

My youngest (Dee Dee and Lukey) are now three, and I love them dearly, but the last couple of days I've been wondering about the policy of leaving unwanted babies at the local fire station. Is there a way to bend that 72-hour rule into the 40-month rule?

The trouble started 40 months ag...wait, I mean about a week ago. Lukey decided that floating the plastic boats we used for bath time could also be used for independent fun in the toilet. This, is a huge, "EWWWW NO, NO don't do that, throw them away...GAH!" in my house. So the boats have been quickly disappearing into the trash.
Fast forward to 2 days ago. I hear flushing, flushing and more flushing. WTF... did all the kids have to go at the SAME time? Right at this point Taylor comes into the living room and very angrily tells me that Dee Dee and Lukey have flushed the strawberry body scrub she got from the $1 bin at target (may contain some lead) down the toilet. Whew, I'm thinking...the body scrub is water soluble...right? I told her we'd buy some more (they were out) and chased the babies out of the bathroom with some angry glares and not exactly age appropriate language.

About 2 hours later I use the toilet and it overflows (#1 luckily) we’ve had some toilet issues in the past, so I'm not thinking the worst of my kids...yet. My hubby and I take turns plunging it and eventually the water drains...slowly. At this point, I realize ALL the plastic boats are gone... Hmmmm. Hubby assures me that they had all been thrown away; surly they wouldn't fit into the toilet...

The next day I call the apartment maintenance guy and he comes and snakes the toilet. Out comes two hot wheels, part of a plastic boat, a watch face, a screw and a marble. He snakes some more, but no more stuff comes out, yet the toilet still isn't flushing properly. So, the apartment complex sends out for a 'professional' to come out the next morning at 10 AM.

Bright and early at NOON the guy shows up (hello, cooped up at home with energetic kids, and a second bathroom that is too small to hide in for long!) to get the toilet to work. He snakes, and snakes and snakes. He ends up getting some gravel (WTH do my kids eat?), an earring (not mine...hubby- you have some 'splaining to do), a penny, a nickle ( Woo hoo up .06 cents!) AND another plastic boat piece. It was truly unbelievable, the amount of...ummm...crap... that was in our toilet!

So, yeah, we are now on the bathroom buddy program... and no, Dee Dee and Lukey no longer get to be bathroom buddies!

Because its a ball, a yellow ball!! Or Why My Son Felt the Need to Stuff a Bead Up His Nose

On Saturday morning my sweet little son, Lukey, came to me complaining that his nose hurt. I gave him a cursory glance and in stellar mom fashion, said, "yup, it'll be fine Lukey, now go play with your sisters!" Granted, I hadn't had my coffee yet and he should know (he's known me for 3 years already!) that mommy doesn't put on her thinking cap until after her second cup of coffee.

A little bit later, I was looking for something under the couch and Lukey came walking up, in tears and said, "It suck (stuck) mommy." As he was standing over me, I looked up to meet his tear filled gaze and I spied something sunshine yellow and round in his right nostril. What the HELL? I took a closer look and sure enough there was something suck I mean, STUCK in his nose!

This was my first walk down this scenic garden path... none of my other kids (knock on wood) have thought to put anything but their fingers up their little noses. Leave it to Lukey to be the first!

My first thought, have him blow it out. Oh wait, Lukey doesn't blow his nose, he puffs up his cheeks and makes farting noises into the tissue when you tell him to blow. This started a round of the whole family, including the other 3 year old, looking into his nose and showing him how to blow. Hilarious...yes, productive... no.

Next, I decide to try and grab the little ball with tweezers. This scared the holy living crap out of the boy. He started to cry as soon as I came at him. Granted the tweezers have sharp ends and probably look ginormous to a 3 year old, but screaming like I was ripping his toenails out was a bit over the top! I tried to look friendly, competent and as non-threatening as possible, but he wasn't having any of it. It didn't work and was very traumatic, there were lots of tears and crying. The boy was upset by it too.

Sadly, I was now out of ideas, so I let him go play while I contemplated my next move. Ideas I tossed around:

1. Taking him to the Doctor (too expensive, save this as a last resort)

2. Leaving it in (I only considered it for half a second!!! plus, there was this image it traveling up to his brain...it could happen!)

3. Suck it out with some sort of a sucking device that I made using a straw, the vacuum cleaner and other found material. (I decided to shelve that idea and use it just before going to the doctor).

4. Squeezing it down and out of his nose (tried it, didn't work at all, unless my goal was to traumatize my kid)

5. Run away from home (me not Lukey!) and leave a note for social services explaining the nostril situation. (This was more of a brief but intense fantasy, rather than an actual idea) :P

After a little bit, I looked at the problem again and realized there was some room around the ball, if I could get something behind the object I might be able to sweep it out. A Q-tip did the trick and Lukey was very cooperative during THIS operation. I had to do it twice, the first time, I didn't realize the object was so big and he sniffed it back before I could coax it out. The second time I popped it out fast before it could go back to its hiding hole.

It turned out to be some sort of yellow bead, I'm not sure from what. When I asked Lukey why he put it in his nose, he said, "Its a ball, a yellow ball!!" Yup, thats what makes me want to put objects in my nose too, the exciting shape and color.